Last day of a GREAT YEAR! (Updated)

Once again, I woke up late, but this time it was weirder than others. I don't really know why. But when I got up I mean it was snowing. A LOT. I looked out the window, of course it was freezing cold, but I couldn't tell the difference in temperature from outside and inside. Everything was covered in white. It was sooo amazing and a beautiful sight. I really like cold weather, but I don't like to be cold. At least not this cold. It was really cool though to see the snow everywhere. I took pictures of course and even recorded a little video on my digital camera. I'll have pictures up on my website soon enough.

I finally got in contact with my family. My mother figured out how to work with MSN messenger and to connect the webcam things, that's pretty cool. So I talked to my mom for the majority of the day. It was nice because I'm speaking to someone and doing so in Chinese. I really have learned to appreciate that I could speak a few different languages. I learned the importance of communication, and wished I had gone to Chinese school when I was younger when my parents pushed me to. But at least I can improve now talking to my mom.

The only plan that I had today was go over to TTki's house and have dinner. He told me to learn how to play Japanese Mahjong, so I did research on how to play. But reading it was so confusing. But when I went over to his house to have dinner at 9pm, much later than I had orginally thought that dinner would have started. Turns out they forgot about me... but they still had dinner left for me. And then for the next few hours we were watching the K-1 tournament and then playing Mahjong. It's actually a lot easier than I was reading about, all except for the scoring. That's the impossible thing to master, but if you think about it, it's a long version of poker. That's how you have to play and think about. I think it moves a lot faster than poker too. But it's really quite interesting. It lasts a long time though. It's 4:30AM right now, and I should sleep.

The NEW entry: (Jan. 4, 2005)
I wanted to end a year in reflection. This really has been an amazing year for me. It's hard to sum up an entire year in such little space and in words. I mean this year was monumental for me in the decisions I decided to make and the direction that I was heading in my life. I'll do my best to sum up things by month, so I don't really forget when I get old.

Jan. - Things last year weren't that good and my relationships with friends were rocky. I'm glad that things turned for the better this year. It took effect amost immediately. The stand out event that occured was the surprise party that I planned and went bust. But then I figured that what goes around comes around. I busted up a surprise party for me, and the same happened to me. That's why it pays to be a good person. Winter break was great because I got to spend a lot of time alone. Something that I rarely get and something which is definately needed. Stuck doing the usual things, and the idea to move to Japan became more clear. We were supposed to go on a trip somewhere for winter break, but that went bust. Everyone went home for the holidays and I kinda got stuck stranded with nothing to do. I spent time with EK and YSki on the new year for a new year dinner traditional to the Japan. It was nice to be doing something on New year.

Feb. - Chinese new year was a turning point in my life. This as in Chinese horoscope would predict would be a better year for me than last year. It would bring me great fortune and success. But I think that it did more than what I really expected. I never believed in these sort of things, but as the year progressed I started to become a believer. My mother is really into these kinds of things and prays a lot for the well-being of my family. She made me wear a charm around my neck and to be honest with you, it still hasn't left my neck. Good things started to happen for me and I had a deep sense to change the direction of my life. I had a lot of things that people work intensely hard to obtain in life, but somehow my life seemed unfulfilled. My business class, with the incredibly horrible teacher really did get me to think about what was going on. I mean sometimes its not the good thing that always counts, it's also the bad. I mean the teacher was a nice guy and had the best intentions, he just couldn't teach to save his life. But I did learn a lot about what I wanted to do and where I was going in my life.

Mar. - I applied to graduate. Something I could have done YEARS ago, since I completed all my classes ages ago. But this time I told myself I needed to leave and go on to bigger and better things. Things as I saw them weren't progressing and I shouldn't do any more than I did. I prepared people for my departure. I have partly become a staple in people's lives since I've been at the school for a whopping 4 years. What happened there? I felt too comfortable to move anywhere else. I mean I had everything set for me. Everything in my eyes was perfect, exactly the way that I would want them. I had been fairly visible as a person on campus, I had many friends - most of which were from different countries around the world, I had the nice car, a wonderful girlfriend, great family support, good grades, feeling healthy, enough money to do the things that I wanted to do, I mean everything that I would have hoped for. But somehow my life was unfulfilled. It was a very disturbing feeling that I felt. The words of Dennis kept on repeating in my mind "if you're not growing, then you're dying," and that's EXACTLY how I felt.
Apr. - I decided that if I finally needed to leave San Diego. I mean I had many offers to leave many times, but just never took them. But this year would prove to be different. Spring break came and went, and I was supposed to go on a nice trip with my friends, but something between us separated us. I found out the truth and it pierced my ears just listening to it. I mean how could I have been so dumb to not realize it. It hit me like a ton of bricks and relationships with my friends were almost non-existant. I had almost blocked everyone out of my life. Even my own family. This was troubling month, but a month that I realized what I really needed to do.
This was the month I made the decision officially to leave San Diego and move to Japan. I would have to quit everything that I would be involved with, which for me was the hardest thing. I mean I've spent so many years building everything up and it almost felt like a waste to throw it all away. But the more amazing part about how I was going to leave would be more astounding to me. I decided to take only necessities with me and practically go with only the clothes on my back. I wouldn't take that much money and then give everything away. I would really leave San Diego behind me.

May - Finals marked the end of the semester, but it meant more than that to me. Because everything in my life was coming to a finale. I had given warning to all the top people in the Key Club organization, about my departure although I had given some people a heads up awhile ago. I let the people in the San Diego - Yokohama Sister City Society know that I would be moving to Japan. I started being more open about it with the International club. I even talked to my business teacher about this. The reason I talked to my business teacher about it, was because I wanted to get a business perspective on the decision I was making. Its quite rare for a person to give up everything that they have, but it's not uncommon for someone to be unhappy with the things that he has. I mean my business teacher was a horrible teacher, but a very intelligent individual and a great business sense. He told me that the decision I made was a rare one. Very few people opt to do so because the people in our society are too wrapped up in obtaining material things and don't focus about the attainment of true happiness that comes from within. He always mentioned in class that 68% of CEO and Presidents of corporations aren't happy. It was very encouraging for me to make this step easier and for me the be able to plan what and how I'm going to do it. I wanted to make it very public that I would be leaving, in a way to force me to leave. I gave myself no reason to stay. I would even break up with my girlfriend, whom which I loved dearly. I would pass down my benz to my sister. She would even take over my room, which had been my domain for the past 14 years. I never wanted to give myself a reason to look back and to only move forward.

Jun. - Bryan graduated from Grossmont. That's a blackhole that I've seen very few people get out of in the shortest amount of time possible. I finally made it to the step where I would actually grow up and take responsibility of myself like I've never have before. I went to the final meetings of all my organizations and let people get used to the idea that I wouldn't be around anymore. Not that they would miss me or anything, but just in case they wanted to know what I was going to be up to. I solicitated the assistance of a few friends to help me build somewhat of a network in Japan. I had a few friends there already that I met when I came last year, but it never hurts to make more friends. So I crafted an incredibly detailed exit plan. It meant coordinating appointments for the next 3 months with about 20 some people on the different islands of Japan till I would come back to the United States. My plan really was well thoughtout and would impress anyone. I've always been taught that, "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail." So that kept playing in my mind too. I was really quite happy with the final product too. I mean I managed to put everyone into the schedule and on a day that they wanted to meet too. I would meet with people that were already in Japan as well. I would be busy almost every day for the next 3 months. So I was really getting excited to leave. But I started to look at the things that I would be leaving behind. I would meet up with some of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I wanted to catch up with a lot of people, but its difficult with everyone being so busy. But I had the chance to visit a few people at least. It really did feel like I was dying too.

Jul. - I moved to Japan this month. My friends threw a farewell party for me. I was kinda surprised too. I was amazed by the people who showed up, since some of them would never go to a party, but they came. So I felt really special. They dubbed me GTB, based on the popular show about a Japanese teacher, Great Teacher Onizuka. It had been my dream for a long time to become a teacher. And everyone seemed to have more confidence in me that I would be a great teacher than I did. That's one of those things that I find so weird, that everyone always believes that I could do it. So this was my chance to prove it for myself. It felt weird talking to AWs, because it was originally his dream to come to Japan and to do the things that I would be doing. It's a weird sick world how these things happen. I spent most of the evening talking to him about it. My gf at the time had already left for Taiwan, even though she was the person who put the party together. That officially ended the relationship. Then I packed my bags and off I went to Japan. I still remember the last thing that I saw when I left my house and when I left the airport looking down from the plane. It was a nice bright sunny day. My room was still a horrible mess with papers and clothes scattered everywhere. I remember the face my mom had as she left me at the airport. She was hesitant to leave even though my dad was in the car hurrying her to go. She was late for work. But she realized that she needed to let go too. Some of my friends came to the airport to see me, and the person I would be going with, off. It was nice to see them. They came a tad bit too late since I was already in the boarding area, and they were outside. The person I would be going with had soo much crap in her carry on bags that we almost missed our flight. And that was the last thing that happened to me in San Diego. LAX wasn't that horrible, except for the fact that the terminal we were at wasn't even near the one we had to be. When we arrived in Japan, my friend just ditched me and my ride was about 1.5 hours late. Kinda rough start.

Aug. - I won't go into much detail here, since it's already all documented in this journal elsewhere. But I will mention the big things. I traveled all over the country of Japan, spanning 4 islands. My plan was flawless. I made every appointment and even changed some things to do even more than I originally planned. I mean, it's quite a feat and I'm quite proud of it. I mean I traveled all throughout Japan, the size of California, visiting all major cities, and hitting all the tourist spots, seeing things that normal tourists wouldn't see, staying at a friend's house in all but two cities, doing all of these things with only $600 in cash, by train, bus, and walking. All within three weeks.

But things started to falter in my plan near the end, when I learned I didn't need to go back to San Diego to get my visa. That lead a many problems. I only packed for summer and not winter, so I didn't have any winter clothing. I only packed two suits. I already bought my return ticket to Japan from San Diego, which was about $500 and it was non-refundable. I would also waste $450 for not flying back to the United States on my return ticket since I had to buy it round trip. I only brought $2000 to have to pay for rent, souvenirs, bills, and food. So I was well short of money, clothes, and wasted a lot by NOT going back to San Diego. And I couldn't go back because I didn't get my visa yet.

Sept. - I physically started my job at Yakumo. I say physically because school already started, but I didn't have my work visa, it was on a volunteer basis. I wouldn't get paid so I still didn't have enough money for food even. Just so you know, Japanese ATMs don't work with Foreign Credit or Debit Cards, and the banks close at 3pm. The ATMs aren't 24 hours either. So I was really really really living frugally.

Oct. - I officially got my visa, therefore officially started working at Yakumo. I felt this burden just go away after I got the letter in the mail saying that I was accepted for my change of visa. I had to get a few other papers first before I could get paid. The school took care of me though, which was really a pleasant surprise. Very encouraging too. I started to teach on my own when a few of the other teachers were absent. I was able to get my shot. It went well, for the most part. But some classes were still rough around the edges.

Nov. - My first pay check, after 5 months living in Japan, only prepared to pay for 3 months of it. You have no idea how overjoyed I was to get it. For the past few months, I was eating very little, skipping meals even to live. I spent very little time and money on any entertainment, and living only because my mom sent money by mail to me. My credit card was maxed out a few times -- thank goodness for citibank. So now I could start paying it back. I was working on getting out of debt. That's not a good way to start a new life.

Dec. - All the festivals this year had been very interesting for me to see. Working at the school had been very enjoyable. And making all the friends was really wonderful. I spent my birthday with some of my collegues and celebrated it 3 times, most ever in my life. Most people spend Xmas with family, but in Japan, xmas is for couples, and New Years is for family. I really felt that this year came together for me. I've learned a lot and started to make the money to live on my own. Everything worked out for me. There are areas with room for improvement, but at least I know that I'm going in the right direction, and that's incredibly important for me. Thanks for reading, you probably think I'm some crazy person who rambles a lot, but so what? Don't read then.

But Happy New Year, looks to be a challenging one for me.