the cat's out of the bag

I confided with my great friend from Wisconsin some of the things that have been on my mind. It felt good to get it out. It was really shocking for her though and even for me. I’m surprised that I’m in this situation. I can’t help thinking about it because I want it, but I can’t do anything about it because it would be morally wrong. I know that and it’s just torture. It’s like someone is dangling the only thing that I want in front of me, but I know that I can’t have it. But it’s not that I physically can’t have it, but something that I mentally and morally can’t have. That’s about all the details I’m going to get into since I wouldn’t want to let others know about it. I only trust her at this moment, but maybe I’ll let you know more later.

I was able to get some other things done today, although not much more things today. I did laundry which was very necessary. I didn’t clean my house today, which could have used it, but it doesn’t really matter anyways.

I stayed home most of the day, and usually when that happens, I’m on the computer for most of the day. I’ve been a bit depressed lately and I think that it’s because I’ve been spending a lot of time alone. But I think that I’ve been driven to this state. I feel as if I’ve lost a lot of my friends, or that I can’t trust them anymore. Some of them have done things that have caused that, but I’m only hearing things from one side, so I’m not sure what’s really going on. I think that we’ve all got things to work on, but I think communication is important too. I’ve been talking a lot about relationships with my friends lately. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that yet.

That’s all I really did today though. I just talked to my friends and found out why I’m so down recently. I don’t like it when there’s a long break with nothing much to do either. I was happy to get out of the house today to get some dinner. I needed to go for a walk and just get out in public. It was nice and refreshing. I was looking at computers and cameras at Yamada Denki. I saw a bit of utaban on the computers there that have TV channels set up. Utada Hikaru was on TV today and she was singing her new song. Is it just me, or did she gain a little weight? She’s still cute as hell though and I love her to death still. Her new song isn’t the greatest though. I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. Am I being punished for something? Since my TV doesn’t work and won’t get that channel, I decided to stay a bit longer to see a little more of the show since if I did get that channel at home, I’d miss it walking all the way back. I needed to make a print for a student too and I bought a new memory card reader for my camera memory card to connect to my PC.