DAMN I FEEL GOOD TODAY!!!

I didn’t do anything outside of the house today, but I really felt good and motivated. I got enough sleep since I have been waking and sleeping late. So I felt refreshed in the morning. I started talking online right away from the time I got up. That really isn’t good since I usually have breakfast before I do that, but that didn’t happen today. I was supposed to go out to get my tickets for Hong Kong, but I forgot that today is a National Holiday and most of the travel agencies would be closed today. So I was planning to do some research today on finding a good deal and planning my trip. But that was knocked off course because I was talking to some of my friends today. Today marks the official day of Spring.

I talked to YSki on voice chat on Skype today and it was such a good conversation. I haven’t had one of those in such a long time. It was really good and I’m glad that I was able to. At first we were on MSN messenger and we were having a typing conversation. Then I asked her about an hour into it if she had a microphone, which she did. Then I asked to connect and for the next hour we talked. Then I had the bright idea to move to Skype since their sound quality is much better. We talked for another few hours. I mean I spent most of my day talking to her. It was such a great conversation today and we talked about many many things. It was as if she was right here with me too. So it was good. I miss having a friend like her.

I’ve decided that I need to find myself a girlfriend and for reals too. I can’t wimp out and decide not to get one; I MUST do everything in my power to woo a woman into my life. It’s one of my goals that I set out before I got my ass on this island and I must accomplish it. Now just to find someone to fall in love with me… any takers? I only have a few criteria, but they are hard to find in Japan. The first is they must speak English or at least try really hard. I think the effort would be enough for me. They must be a non-smoker because health and hygiene is always important. Cute is more preferable over sexy, hot, fine and ugly. They can’t be too happy, or too sad because too much of anything is never a good thing. They should be rather independent since this is Japan and everyone and their mothers are busy from dawn till dawn. Now is that so hard to find? For the past year and a half, I haven’t found one… but I think it’s because I haven’t kept my eyes open to it. So now I will start. Spring is the season for love and we’ll see if this year will be different for me. But I know deep down that things will be different if I’m different. It all starts and ends with me.

I only had instant noodles at this point because I wanted to continue talking to my good friend, but was starving. It was a way I could get both thing accomplished. But I need to get some real food in my body. So after the long conversation, I was thinking about things that could get me motivated into doing what I need to do. I went to 7-11 to pay my bills and get dinner. During dinner I decided to watch DVDs instead of the TV.

I watched GTO today on DVD and saw like 4-5 episodes. I’m on chapter 6 now and it really just motivated me to be the best teacher I can be. It sounds stupid, but because of this animated drama, I was inspired to give up my perfect life in San Diego to live in Japan and to be the greatest teacher I could be. It’s strange how much influence the television can have on people isn’t it? A bit scary if you ask me, but today, I’m just so motivated to do it. I mean I decided my major based on the very famous drama called the West Wing, which is in its final season this year. But I gave up everything to come here on the sole purpose of becoming a great teacher. I can’t fail to achieve that goal or everything would have been given up in vain. I look back at that decision and realized all the importance of my decision and the great sacrifice I’ve been willing to do to get here to this point and where I am today. I have felt defeated in the past weeks and because of the recent news that I’ve gotten too. I really feel at a loss, but now the thing that I’ve lost was the past year due to timidity.

That stops here and that stops now!! I refuse to lose and I REFUSE TO FAIL!! Recently my friends have been here for me and although I have failed to realize it till now, I understand and know that I have to tackle this with everything that I can. I must win at all costs. I have grown up with the philosophy of whatever it takes and now I have to put it into practice. Today will be the day that changes the rest of my life, because it is the first that I’ve actually realized why I’m here.

All the signs recently have been painting this picture for me and now it has become all too clear. I mean I even got these messages in the email inbox today, which further illustrates my point.

As Bob Proctor says, "you're either living in the problem or you're living in the solution."

There’s no problem that we should be anxious about. We can either solve it or it's impossible to solve.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference."

"No person can be confronted with a difficulty which he has not the strength to meet and subdue...Every difficulty can be overcome if rightly dealt with; anxiety is, therefore, unnecessary. The task which cannot be overcome ceases to be a difficulty and becomes an impossibility...and there is only one way of dealing with an impossibility - namely to submit to it." - Byways of Blessedness

"The door to a balanced success opens widest on the hinges of hope and encouragement." --Zig Ziglar

This is a sign that things need to be turned around and that I no longer need to go on this road of despair. I only have 3 months left as a teacher in Japan, and I’m going to make them the best! I MUST BE GTB!